welcome to
a token dedicated to all of Elon's ex wives/gfs that exists to confirm that Elon does indeed have that dawg in him
now lets take a look at all elons girls past and present. I really wanna rate them all in order of attractiveness ngl but i dont want elon to hire a hitman to kill me, so lets go thru 1 by 1 and u can make ur own decision. Topic of debate for our highly intelligent community upon token launch is which ones would u smash or pass?
JENNIFER GWYNNE
Hotness: look man i dont wanna be mean shes just a normal woman.
Smash or pass: Pass. 4/10.
Details: Elon's first lover, met in school, she met his family once then auctioned some of his shit to pay her kids college tuition. she fumbled the bag
JUSTINE WILSON
Hotness: she could get it when she was younger u could tell elon started getting in his bag making that bread when he met her u feel me
Smash or pass: Smash in 2000, pass in 2023. Shes like 50 now dawg 💀 Prime 7/10, now 5/10
Details: Elon's first wife, they met in 2000. She gave Elon 5 kids which is straight wild but rich people move different.
TALULAH RILEY
Hotness: highly smashable in St Trinians movie. She was hot. Elon got with her the next year. Not a coincidence imo
Smash or pass: Smashable when younger but still kinda weird looking. Would still smash just to say id hit it. 8/10 in her prime now 6/10
Details: Married and divorced Elon TWICE. No kids together. Once text him "Please do something to fight woke-ism. I will do anything to help! xx" about him buying Twitter, so she gets bonus points for being based
AMBER HEARD
Hotness: all im saying is if she came into my room with her pants off, i wouldnt say no. 8/10 maybe even 9/10 in her prime now 7/10.
Smash or pass: Smash.
Details: not much about the two of them bc she only dated elon for like a year. he probs just wanted to hit and it went on too long. She is best known for being in some whack ass movies and got rekt by Johnny Depp in court then got called 'Amber Turd' by the entire world so she got rekt
CLAIRE BOUCHER (GRIMES)
Hotness: i cant lie she on some weird shit but kinda sexy af. she has got hotter since being famous. 8/10.
Smash or pass: u know shes a freak. she'd give u the best night of ur life but u would be mentally scarred forever. Smash.
Details: THREE kids together in just a couple years. Crazy, Elon on like 8 kids at this point. Wild. You just know they were on some weird shit lmao
SHIVON ZILLIS
Hotness: cmon bro im not about to drag this normal ass woman on the internet. 5/10 tho
Smash or pass: sorry shivon, Elon can keep you. Pass. Maybe would hit after like 8 beers though, but idk until i'm actually in that situation
Details: super smart went to yale and works for musk at Neuralink. They had two sons taking elons total kids to 10. I think this was purely bc Elon wants to have kids with someone who is actually smart to make sure those genius genetics pass on to the next generation.
in conclusion, elon definitely has got that dawg in him
